Respecting what she chooses to share

In brief

• What this helps with. Knowing what she has let you see in MenoHealth, and how to handle it.
• One thing to do. Agree early how she wants you to use what she shares, and follow it.
• One thing to ask. "Do you want me to mention what I see in the app, act on it quietly, or wait for you to bring it up?"

When she gave you her supporter code, she let someone see part of what she is dealing with. What you do with that decides whether she keeps sharing, and it says more about the kind of supporter you are than anything else in this library.

How sharing works, in plain terms

She activated a code in her own app and chose to give it to you. You asked to support her, and she said yes. The app never sent an invitation on her behalf.

When she approved you, she chose what you would see, category by category. How her journey is going overall. Her MenoScore. Particular symptoms. Short updates she writes herself. Before she confirmed, she saw a preview of your screen and a summary of what would stay hidden.

Everything else stays hers. Her journal, her conversations with MenoAI, her detailed logs, any pattern the app shows her, the symptoms she did not select, any score she kept private. You cannot log anything for her, edit anything, or ask the app to show you more, and she can change or end the arrangement at any time.

Privacy runs both ways. She cannot see what you read in this library.

The conversation to have first

Before you act on anything you see, ask how she wants you to use it. Do it early, at an ordinary moment, and keep it to two questions.

• "Do you want me to mention things I see in the app, act on them quietly, or wait for you to bring them up?"
• "Is there anything you would rather I never bring up?"

Some women want to be able to say "did you see my update?" and have you say yes. Some want you to act and never reference the app. Some want the score left alone and the symptoms talked about, or the reverse. None of these is wrong. Follow her preference, act on the requests you agreed, and accept that it can change. "Stop mentioning it" is a new agreement, not a rejection.

What you are looking at, and what you are not

Your dashboard is a summary she curated for you, not the whole picture.

A higher MenoScore means a lighter reported symptom load. The score reflects what she has logged and does not diagnose her health or explain every change in how she feels. It is not a productivity metric or a verdict on the relationship, and a low number is not a message to you. The article on what her MenoScore means, if she shares it, goes further.

The symptoms you see are self-reports she agreed to let you see. If a symptom is not there, it may be absent, or it may be private. You cannot tell which, and you should not try.

An empty updates screen usually means she has not sent one. It can also mean that what she shares has changed. Neither means something is wrong or that she is ignoring you. The absence of information is not information.

When what you see changes

She may narrow what she shares, or end it altogether, at any time. Changing what is shared can create an in-app notice for you, and nothing more. No push, no email. Removing your access does not send a notification at all, though you may notice that access has ended when you next open the app.

The controls are built that way on purpose, so she can change her mind about her own health information without an alert going out, and they exist for every member, including women whose safety depends on being able to step back.

So if you open the app one day and see less than before, the right response is nothing. Do not demand an explanation or treat it as punishment. If it matters to you, wait for an ordinary moment and say something like "I noticed I'm seeing less in the app, and that's fine. I'm still here." Then leave it alone.

Boundaries that keep you trustworthy

• Do not ask her to share more. "It would help me if I could see your sleep too" puts the burden of your curiosity on her. If she wants you to see more, she will change the setting.
• Mention the score only in the way you agreed. If she asked you not to raise it, "your score looked rough this week" is monitoring, however kindly meant. If she asked you to say when you noticed, say it plainly and once.
• Do not screenshot, forward or discuss what she has shared. Not with her mother, not with your friends, not with her doctor unless she asks you to. Agree what, if anything, she wants you to say to relatives.
• Do not use her data in an argument. "You logged irritability four times this week" is the fastest way to lose the privilege.
• Do not refresh compulsively. Nothing new appears because you checked, and checking often turns support into monitoring.
• Do not ask her to log, and do not ask what she talked about with MenoAI. Her tracking is hers.
• Apply the same rules offline. Being her supporter in the app does not entitle you to know what happened at her appointment or what she takes. She tells you what she wants to tell you.

How to use what she shares well

A shared update is an invitation to act, not a message to answer. You can acknowledge it with a heart, and that is the whole reply channel, on purpose. There is no free-text reply, so the useful response happens in the real world. A cooler house, dinner handled, the morning taken, or, if you are not nearby, a text at the right time. The best response to "rough night" is coffee and quiet.

Let the symptoms she shares shape what you offer, in whichever way you agreed. If sleep is shared and it has been bad, take the early shift. If brain fog is shared, offer to take over the remembering this week.

The Library's recommendations come from the editorial team, not from her data. The one place her sharing can shape what you read is Home, which may surface an article about a symptom she has explicitly shared.

Thank her for the trust once, plainly, and then stop mentioning it. If all she has shared is that she is on this journey at all, that is still plenty. Support does not require data.

The short version

Related reading

• What her MenoScore means, if she shares it
• Listening well when she talks about menopause
• Practical ways to help, without being asked

Sources

• MenoHealth, Inc. Privacy Policy and Health Data Disclosures, including the Supporter Mode sharing and revocation terms accepted during supporter onboarding. Available in the app under Settings.
• MenoHealth, Inc. Terms of Service, Supporter Mode provisions. Available in the app under Settings.

Disclaimer

This article is for education and support. It is not medical advice, and it is not a substitute for care from a qualified healthcare provider. Descriptions of how sharing works reflect MenoHealth's Supporter Mode at the time of writing and may change as the app develops. The in-app settings and legal documents are the authoritative source.